Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Question Time With Horsey.....

Today is the start of what could possibly be the greatest thing on the Internet ever! I'm gonna interview some of the fools on the team, maybe weekly, starting with the one and only..........
Mr Dan Cates!

photo: David Steel

Horsey: Alright mate, what's happening?

Cates: Not much, just relaxing in my living room and watching the World Industries box set.

H: Sick, me too! I'm not one for small talk so I'll get down to it. Now you're the lead singer of a rock and roll band do you get loads of birds?

C: No!

H: Oh. So do you do a lot of drugs and party all the time?

C: I can't say I do any drugs, I drink on special occasions and if there's ever a house party, I'm there.

H: What's Day Release all about then?

C: If you've ever seen that Thrasher video where Badshit are playing in Prague and there's five people in the audience and two of them leave half way through the set, well we're actually way worse than that. Zorlac calls me the blood curdler because of my horrendous singing but we cannot be stopped! In time, nobody will be able to escape the wrath of the hardest hitting rock outfit ever formed! Day Release is on a mission to become the number one skate rock band. We have pool skater Adam on drums, crazy Pete on bass, Steak on lead guitar and myself on vocals and soon Mark Nicolson will be joining us on rhythm guitar. We cannot be stopped! Our selling point is that we really are the worst. No matter how much we practice we just keep getting worse and worse. We don't discriminate against our fans, we actually hate everyone, especially women.

H: Fuck yeah! What does the future hold for Day Release?

C: At the moment we're working on recording some tracks and we're gonna go on tour with Badshit when they come over here, they don't know it yet though haha. Mainly we're doing shows at Death demos and skateparks, trying to keep it legit, 100% skate rock.


photo: David Steel

H: The Big Push is coming up soon, you all set? How are you planning on topping the last three?

C: Just gonna use the usual tried and tested Death formula. Try and make sure the team keep their minds off the booze and on the skateboarding for the week and soldier on through doing the best that we can. It's worked before and, God willing, it will work again. Usually when no-one drinks, no-one falls out.

H: Is there gonna be a ban on drinking again?

C: Most of the guys know the drill, the skateboarding is the only thing that matters. After all, this is the UK's answer to "King of the Road"


photo: Richard Gilligan

H: Do you care to explain who that funny looking fat bloke that hangs around with you is? You know, the one that tries to fight you all the time.

C: That would be Dibble. He is easily the most fucked up person I know. He's some kind of weird sadist. Over the years we've tortured him, wound him up, teased him and generally abused him so much he doesn't know whether he's coming or going, gay or straight, mad or sane. He phones me every single day without fail and every time I rack my brains for ways to be even more lame to him than I was last time. Sometimes he gets so angry that he'll be shouting obscenities down the phone at the top of his voice and then he'll hang up haha. Then he'll phone up the very next day if not a few minutes later to get more of the same. It's like he needs his daily fix of being totally degraded down the phone haha. It's amazing, and it never gets boring. One time on a two hour car journey from Coventry to London we wound him up so much that he admitted he had sexually assaulted a man at a VW car show. He's now so unstable that one day he'll be sending you a text saying he loves you, the next you'll see him in the street and say hello and he will try and have a full on fist fight with you. You never know what your gonna get with Dibs but it's always really funny, hahaha!!

H: Do you ever feel guilty about the torturing, abuse and teasing?

C: Absolutely not one bit. The guy not only deserves it, but he gets off on it, hahaha. He is 100% fucked.

H: Is he your best friend though?

C: YES. But i would like to point out that unlike Dibs, I am not gay and I have a girlfriend to prove it


H: So what's up with your grill? You just showed me a tooth that fell out today and it was 90% silver anyway. How often you go to the dentist?

C: There's no easy way of putting it, my teeth are completely ruined. I have to go to the dentist approximately once a month. I've had eight root canals, more fillings than I can remember, one of my fronts replaced four times. For instance, today I took a bite out of a double decker and heard a snap and one of my back teeth had completely broken off. It's getting to the point where I have more alloy than ivory in my mouth. It all stems from 20+ years of eating up to five Mars bars a day. It's not good, but I cant stop eating sweets and chocolate. Just like abusing Dibs, it just gets better and better.

H: Have you ever considered getting them all taken out and getting some falsies or a gold grill like Master P?

C: I haven't, but soon there may be no other option.


H: Is it true you're the proud owner of a baby pedigree hedgehog?

C: Absolutely! One of my life's finest purchases. He's a chocolate chip coloured African pygmy hedgehog named Bramble. I think I'm always gonna have a hedgehog as a pet, there's nothing else quite like it. You gotta watch out though, they bite!


H: You recently had a stinging section in Death's new video "Better Than Life". Explain the process of filming a Dan Cates video part.

C: First comes the worry and then the panic that you might not manage to complete the part. Then comes the racking of your brains to remember and gather up any usable footage that you might already have to start things off. Next comes the list of potential spots and tricks you want to try, then the hard part - hooking up with people who can film you and getting into an unstoppable hell bent on filming regime. Even harder than that and by far the most frustrating is having to deviously come up with whacky ways of getting people to various different countries around the world with you to hold a video camera. For instance, my last part was filmed in France, America, United Arab Emirates, Spain, Australia, Sweden, Holland, Israel, Bulgaria and Ireland.

H: How's life as part of the Vox International family?

C: It's great, I really like the stuff they do. When I quit Vans I had the option to ride for either Duffs, Globe or Vox. I spent a long time thinking it over and was really tempted by some of the things they were offering, but when it came down to it I had to choose Vox. I liked the shoes, I liked the image, plus an old friend of mine, Mike Henderson, helps to run the company. I now have shoes coming out of my ears, photo incentive and a place on the international squad. Up the Vox!


photo: David Steel

H: Alright, enough of this bollocks, finish these sentences:

The best way to save money is... By not spending any
The best thing to spend money on is... Trips to the other side of the world
My go to party beverage is... A snowball (advocat, cream soda, lime, dash of vodka)
The three greatest skaters of all time are... Tony Hawk, Eric Koston and Rodney Mullen.
My 3 personal favourite skaters are... Guy Mariano, Lance Mountain and Daewon Song

When I think of dibble I... Feel sick
When I look in the mirror I see... Myself
If my legs were all broken and I couldn't skate I would... Become a football hooligan


photo: Jerome Loughran


photo: Richard Gilligan


photo: David Steel

Finally, Dan's four year old section from his world famous DVD "Squadrophenia".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I going to kill you all!

28 May 2008 at 15:08  

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